Surrogacy update

I wanted to update everyone that has been following this surrogacy journey of mine.  As I posted before, the third embryo transfer did not take so we all took some time to just think about how we were going to move forward.  Sadly the intended parents and I have decided to go our separate ways.  It was not an easy decision for me but it just did not feel right to continue on with the way things were going.  I am taking some time to process everything and will re-visit surrogacy in the future.  For now I’m going to focus on myself and first and foremost try to lose this 25+ lbs that I gained over the last 9 months.  Being on fertility meds is no joke and I have enjoyed one too many donuts.    I will definitely update if there are any future developments but for now I have decided to keep this blog as an outlet for my daily life.

Hope you are all having a great Monday!  xo, Eve

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Rollercoaster

The transfer did not work.  Again.  I am starting to think it’s me.  I know that it’s not because I was assured by the doctors that everything is perfect as far as I am concerned but doubt still sits in the back of my mind.  I don’t know where we are going to go from here.  I haven’t talked to the intended parents much since the blood work came back.   The worst part is that I got several positive pregnancy tests but the numbers were too low once we got to the blood draw.

I am going to try to focus on me while we are in limbo.  I need to get some of the weight off that I gained during all three cycles from the meds, etc.  I would love to lose about 30lbs before we even try again but that all depends on timing.  Right now I think I just need a break.

I am heartbroken for the intended parents.  I can’t even imagine what they are going through.

Please continue to pray for them.

3rd time is a charm?

Or so they say right?   We are trying again.  It’s so hard for me to really have my hopes high for this.  I know I need to be positive, and I definitely am trying but I don’t want to get my hopes up and then have another disappointment.  I am trying to just roll with it day by day and see what happens.  Of course I am praying this time is THE time, and would appreciate any and all prayers also.

Our transfer is scheduled for April 25th.  Just a little over 2 weeks away! It sure came up quick again.

Time does not slow down that’s for sure.

The meds have been really hard on me this time around.  I have been having major hot flashes from the Lupron and bad headaches. They just decreased my dosage so I’m hoping that helps.

Let the count down begin :)

xo

Moving ahead

It’s been a while since I updated about what has been going on with the surrogacy.  I was in a  major funk after getting the news that our last transfer did not work.  Heartbroken for my intended parents and bummed that we had to start all over again. (The meds have been really hard on me)  I have come to realize that surrogacy is a lot harder to go through then I thought it would be.  Of course I knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park but I guess I didn’t realize how challenging it could get especially with having a failed cycle.  I won’t make this post about me because I am doing this for them but just wanted to touch on the fact that surrogacy is definitely not for everyone.

After taking some time off of the meds and waiting to start my cycle again naturally, things just weren’t progressing as quickly as we all had hoped so the clinic got me started on a test cycle to speed things up.  I was put on Delestrogen injections again January 14th and then Provera (to start my menses) and Lupron on January 28th.  Once things started to finally progress about 3 weeks into that protocol, we started a real cycle for the next transfer.  We have that scheduled for next Friday – February 28th!!!   I can’t  believe we are back here again and am so excited to move forward.  On one hand it seems like it flew by but on the other .. when I think about our last transfer being November 14th..it seems like forever ago.

I have been keeping in touch regularly with the intended parents, they have been really awesome and we are all so hopeful that this transfer will be a success.  We know why the last one didn’t work and without going into too much detail..we won’t have any of those ‘issues’ this time around.

All prayers for next week’s transfer would be appreciated.  That Gods will be done and that He has His hand over the entire process.

xo

Heartbeat ultrasound

After waiting 3 weeks from when we got the great news of a positive pregnancy test, we finally had our heartbeat ultrasound yesterday!  The intended parents flew down for the day so they could be here for every step of the process.  I picked them up from the airport and headed straight to my OB’s office for our appointment.   We were all so nervous and anxious but were finally going to get the results we have been waiting for.  My doctor came in and began the ultrasound by measuring the little black circle/oval she saw on the screen.  She seemed to keep going back and forth and wasn’t really saying anything but if you have had several pregnancies or have been through the process several times like my Intended parents had before, you knew something wasn’t right.

 There was no heartbeat.

There was no baby.

There wasn’t even a fetal pole.

The sac measured at 5 weeks and I should have been over 7.  The doctor confirmed what we were all fearing..this was not a viable pregnancy.  It was awful.  I knew this was a possibility, that a perfect result was not guaranteed, but I think I was just so surprised because I have had all of the symptoms one would have with a progressing pregnancy.  That’s the funny trick the progesterone plays on you.  The ugly side of fertility meds.  You don’t know if your symptoms are coming from the real thing or from the meds.  I could not believe what the doctor was saying.  I felt horrible for the intended parents.  I could hear them quietly choking back tears but I tried not to look.  We got the appointment over with and just sort of sat there wondering what had just happened trying to absorb the reality of it.  The intended mom kept asking me if I was ok.  Are you kidding me?  Are YOU ok?   I feel so blessed to have been matched up with this amazing couple.  My heart breaks for them.  They have been through so much and just want to be parents.  They just want to have a family.

We are planning on moving forward though and trying again.  At this point I have stopped all of my meds and am just waiting for my cycle to return to normal.  I hopefully won’t need any intervening to get rid of the sac, etc.  It should happen naturally now that I have gotten off the meds.   We can then try with the next cycle so maybe a March transfer if all goes well.

I want to thank all of the people that reached out to me yesterday. I am so blessed to have so much support through this process.

Surrogacy is definitely not for everyone and I know some people in my life don’t agree with it but they are still supportive and that means everything to me.

Did it work?

When I started thinking about surrogacy 5 years ago it never occurred to me that it could not work.  I guess I just never really thought that much about it and assumed that you would just get pregnant just like that.  As I got more information over the years from other surrogates and doctors I realized that getting pregnant via IVF was definately not a guarantee.  So many factors have to fall into place in order to have a successful transfer and ultimately a live delivery.
After the transfer I wanted to test right away!  It takes about 5 days for the embryo to implant and your body to start releasing the pregnancy hormone HCG.  I had the transfer on a Thursday and took a test the following Monday (of course it was too early) and of course it was negative.  I started to take a test daily after that and got this progression.. IMG_1998

click on the photo to enlarge

That digital test on the very bottom actually reads NO- which I was surprised about but figured that it was way more sensitive then the non digital tests and needed a higher level of HCG to get a positive result.

The following Saturday which was 9 days past transfer I had a scheduled blood test to check my beta count (hcg number).  We waited by the phone all day and finally heard from the clinic.  47.  That is not a very high number and they told me that while it did mean I am pregnant, they are looking for it to be 50 or higher.  I had to go back Monday to retest and see if my levels were rising.  The number is supposed to double every 48 hours.  Monday’s number was 107 so we knew we were on the right track.  I went again on Wednesday just to make sure things were still progressing and that number was 271!  Not very high BUT the key is that it is doubling every 48 hours.  (took another test when I got home and got this)

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So I guess it is official!! I AM PREGNANT!!!  Today I am 6 weeks 5 days and go in for my first heartbeat ultrasound on the 17th (next Tuesday).  That will really make it official and the intended parents are flying down for that appt.  We are all hopeful that there will be a strong heartbeat and a growing baby!

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers :)

The transfer

Sorry to everyone who has been patiently waiting for an update.  I know I am way behind but I promise to do a better job at updating going forward.

On November 13th Marvin and I flew to San Francisco for my embryo transfer on the 14th.  We got there around 11pm and pretty much went straight to bed once we got to the hotel.

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 On Thursday the 14th we woke up and headed to the clinic around 9:45am for our 10:00am appointment.  When we got there they got us right in a room to get ready for the transfer and then the intended parents met us there.  The Intended mom and I talk all the time so it was very comfortable for me to have them in the room during the procedure and I wanted them to be a part of the entire process.

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The doctor had me get ready and then they brought the little embryo into the room in an incubator!! (this picture is of the embryo that morning after it was thawed)  It was in a tiny little incubator and I immediately burst into tears because I was not expecting to see that.  It just made it so real I guess.  The doctor sucked it up into a syringe with some liquid and inserted it into by uterus through a catheter they had placed a few minutes before.  The entire procedure took about 10 minutes and was completely uneventful as far as pain or discomfort was concerned.  I did not feel a thing.  We got to watch the embryo go in on an ultrasound and saw that it was nice and nestled in there.  Afterwards I just had to lay there for about 30 minutes and then we were free to go.

After the procedure the intended parents and myself and Marvin went to lunch at a restaurant at my hotel and just spent some time together that afternoon.  I think we were all looking at each other that day like ‘what just happened’.  It was such a surreal experience and I could not believe we were actually at that place after all of the years I have been praying about this.

I stayed in SF for a few more days and just laid around enjoying the quiet and alone time.  Marvin was supposed to leave Thursday afternoon to get back to the kids but his flight was cancelled (after he was on the plane for 2 hours) so he came back to the hotel and flew out Friday at 6am.  I stayed until Saturday morning and then flew home.

It was nice to get to spend time with the intended mom.  She came by the hotel a few times while I was staying there and I also got a visit from one of my surro sisters that I met through IG.  She is actually also going through my agency but we didn’t know that when we first met.  She lives up in the SF area so she came by to visit.  Here is a picture we took when she came over.

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Overall it was an amazing experience and I can not wait to see where it goes.

xo

Countdown

I can’t believe that a week from today I will be in SF for my embryo transfer!  It seems like I just yesterday when I was signing up with the agency and here we are mid November!

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I had another baseline ultrasound done this morning and a blood draw.  The ultrasound went great and for those who understand the lingo..my lining was a triple stripe and 12mm.  I think that’s a very good thing!  I’m waiting for the clinic to let me know when to start the Progesterone injections (they are usually 5 days or so before the transfer) so I’m sure that will happen in the next few days.  I’m still doing the Delestrogen injections Tuesdays and Fridays and also the Lupron.

 So far I am feeling good.  A little emotional and tired  but not too bad.

Hope you are all having a great week!

 

Shots shots shots shots

And no I’m not talking about Patron.

I had my baseline ultrasound done on Monday which checks to make sure that the Lupron that I have been injecting into my stomach is doing it’s job.  (It basically quiets the ovaries)  Everything went great so I got cleared to start the Del Estrogen shots.  I did my first one last night and was horrified the minute I took that huge needle out of the package.  They want me to stick myself with this enormous needle all by myself?  So many things were running through my mind and I honestly did not know if I could do it.  I got everything ready and stood next to the mirror staring at the circle the doctor made on my hip.  I got in position and even though they say to do it quickly like a ‘dart’, I pushed it in pretty slow and did not feel a thing!!!  I couldn’t believe it.  All that anxiety and stress and I did not feel the needle or the oil going in.  Such a relief!!  I have to do another one on Friday and then go get blood work on Monday which will determine the next dose.  So far these are Tuesdays and Friday’s until I start the Progesterone a few days before the transfer.

So far I am not really experiencing any side effects.  I am a little more emotional and moody but not too bad.  Poor Marvin!

I can’t believe it’s coming up so fast!  2 weeks from today, Marvin and I will be flying up to San Fran to hopefully get pregnant!

If you pray, could you please say a little prayer that everything goes well leading up to the transfer.  That all the meds do their job and we can proceed on the expected date.  Thank you!!!

Surrogacy Update

In June of this year I signed up with an agency here in San Diego and was soon matched with an amazing couple that lives in Northern California.  We met over Skype and decided we were going to move forward.  Moving forward meant getting all of my medical (pregnancy) records to the Agency, getting an OK from my OB to be a surrogate, completing a psychiatric evaluation, flying up to SF to the Intended Parent’s fertility clinic and completing a medical evaluation, lots of insurance paperwork and of course the most important item..the CONTRACT!! The contract was probably the most stressful document I have ever signed in my life but it is done and we are proceeding!!

I started meds on Saturday, a small injection of Lupron into the abdomen and should start Progesterone injections in a couple of weeks.  That one is a bit bigger needle and goes into the back/butt muscle area.  The lupron stops ovulation and all reproductive activity on my end and the Progesterone helps prepare the lining of the uterus for a pregnancy.  We have a embryo transfer date scheduled for November 14th up at the clinic in SF so my husband and I will be flying up there that week and then I will be on bed rest for a few days following.

I am so excited for it to finally happen and can’t believe how fast it is all going.  I just pray that it all works and this sweet couple is able to finally have a baby!!

Stay tuned…